Reflections on homemaking and making myself at home
“What do you do? Do you work?”
So many assumptions about the meaning of these questions…
I’m a mother, I’m a student, a volunteer, piano teacher, wife, friend etc, but none of those describes who I truly am or what I do all day. I don’t have one main occupation…
Maybe I’ll just leave it at,
“Most of the time, I work from home.”
‘Homemaker’ is an outdated term
It used to be a respectable occupation
But, like many words, it became a rejected term
but at least it recognised in some way, the work that many women have done and do? anyway…
But what does it mean to be a homemaker?
Not in the old fashioned sense
I’m talking about a sense of belonging for myself and those who live in or visit my home
I spend a lot of time at home
Yet often I do not truly feel at home
Is it because we have not lived here long?
Is it because we do not own our home?
Is it because we are so far from most of our extended family?
Is it because I do not identify with a particular career or profession?
Is it all of these things?
How can I be a home maker,
When I do not feel at home?
Where is my place?
Who are my people?
I am aware that I do not have access to the same resources that others more privileged do,
Yet I am incredibly thankful for what I have and I realise it’s quite a lot.
I can do the best with what I have
But it never feels like enough
Have I been waiting for someone else to make me feel at home?
Have I been too busy trying to find my home in someone else’s story, through someone else’s eyes?
Maybe it starts with
Making myself at home
In my life, in the place where I live, in my own story
To own my story is the hardest thing to do,
but it’s the only story I can tell with any conviction.
I think there is a kind of loneliness that comes from not being at home in one’s story.
We are taught that Christ must be at the centre of our lives
But what I want to know is, where to position myself?
If Christ is the centre, should I be hiding in the corner?
Perhaps some need to think less of themselves, and others more?
Is it really selfish to want to be the centre of my life?
To know what I want?
To want our home to be the centre of our community?
I am overwhelmed with wonder when I realise,
Though I am but dust
You make your home in me
…
I think I’m starting to understand what Maya Angelou meant when she said:
“You are only free when you realize you belong no place-
You belong every place-
No place at all.
The price is high.
The reward is great.”