Before&Laughter

Accepting kindness and truth

Why does even everyday kindness feel so foreign?

Can’t I feel it because I can’t accept it’s really for me?

Always searching, longing for something

But I already have so much

Why can’t I accept it?

Why do I extend understanding and grace

To all but myself?

Why is it so hard just to accept the truth?

I thought I had accepted it

But it seems so hard just to keep hold of it

I thought I knew it

But then I don’t feel it

I’m afraid I’ve lost it

I feel like my struggles are so different to everyone around me

Like no one would understand…

Are my struggles really so different?

I’m beginning to think maybe they’re not

Sometimes it hits me like a tonne of bricks

How bad things were

How far I’ve come

The reality of my life and how much I still struggle

Yet how thankful I am to be here

And to be ok