In my family I am, more often than not, the organizer and planner of good things. I seem to know what needs to be done and can make it happen. But sometimes (ok maybe often) I take it too far, thinking I always know what’s best, and end up feeling like everything depends on me. Afraid that everything will fall apart if I take a break. People are often telling me to stop trying so hard. Easier said than done!
I give up!
No matter how hard I try
I can’t make things right
I try so hard to make everything better
But it’s making things worse
Holding too tight
Trying to control
Strangling, crushing
I give up
Maybe I just need to stop
Stop trying so hard
But then what do I do?
What do they really need from me?
Maybe I don’t know what else to do
And what if I stop trying so hard
And it all falls apart?
What if they see that I did not try to stop it?
But could it really get much worse than this?
Do I really want to spend my life
Hiding problems like they don’t exist?
Overcompensating for perceived weaknesses,
Trying to cover up strife
And this anger
What to do with the anger
Is it wrong? Or just misguided?
Should I try to banish it?
Or redirect it?
I must not use it to try to control others
To force them into my picture of perfect
To love dearly
One must hold loosely