I feel somewhat unqualified to write about grief- for the fact that I have not lost anyone really close to me through death. However there are many kinds of grief.
The other side of grief
Knowledge may be power
But what to do with this power when it threatens to explode?
Grief and anger intertwined
Revealed like layers of an onion
Sometimes peeled back slowly
At other times ready to explode
I do not want my power to be robbed by grief
In the moment it feels like a pointless weakness
Is it a futile surrender?
Or a necessary part of the journey?
Perhaps I fear that there will be nothing left of me
On the other side of grief
But there is a true power found in the process,
That can only be accessed by going through
There is power in knowing
That I can survive a grief as powerful as this
Can I trust that grief will stay only as long as needed?
And that comfort and healing will follow?
There is one thing I fear more than
Wasting time feeling too much-
That is feeling nothing.
There is no easy way;
Unacknowledged grief
Festers and rots- infecting everything I touch
That is what robs me of my power
Every time I refuse to cry over that again
I get stuck
Disconnected
Severed from reality
The walls go up again
I loose my authenticity
And everything feels fake
I must be honest
Trust the process
And the one who holds me through everything
I do not want to fall apart again
But I must go through to get to the other side